Where were you?

September 11, 2001

At the time I worked as a Client Service Associate for Morgan Stanley, a large stock brokerage company that had offices in New York. The World Trade Center to be exact, 3500 employees between WTC2 and WTC5.

It was a normal workday...I got up, got ready and dressed then left the house. All the while never turning on a tv or radio, which wasn't unusual. I walked into a quiet office but didn't think anything of it. I sat down at my desk, put my things away and wondered where my co-worker was. Jennifer started her day before I did and was usually sitting at her desk, impatiently waiting for me to arrive so she could get herself some breakfast and coffee. I look around and see her sitting in an empty office watching tv, oblivious to the fact that I was there. Joking, I yell and ask her if she's going to go get her "usual" and if so to get me some toast. She doesn't even turn around, still glued to the tv. That's when I walk in and see what she is seeing -- the massive destruction, the planes crashing, the buildings falling. All of it being played over and over. At first I didn't understand what was going on, Jennifer sadly recapped it for me.

That's when it hit me, when I realized that we worked with, talked with, knew people who worked in those buildings. Morgan Stanley was a huge tenant at the World Trade Center, all of our "back office" staff was there, people I talked to on a daily basis, people with whom I'd become friends with. I was in total shock, not sure if any of them were still alive. I sat there on the couch with Jennifer for quite awhile, I'm not even sure how long...we couldn't work, even if we had wanted to, since all of our computers were down (the main system was housed in NY). The day is pretty much a blur from there on out. At one point the broker we worked for arrived and wanted us to start calling all of our clients, advising them that their monies/accounts were safe and that Morgan Stanley had back-up systems that would be in place within 24 hours. So, while the rest of our office went home for the day...we sat there and made phone calls. I felt so disgusted, so angry with my boss. Here I was talking money when thousands of lives had just been lost. Lives of people we knew. I couldn't believe it.

By the end of the day I was numb. Numb from seeing the news re-play the days events over and over, numb from making calls that I didn't want to make and didn't feel were worthy of making. I sobbed all the way home, and when I got there I didn't even bother to change my clothes like normal...instead turned on the tv and sat cross-legged on the couch and continued to sob. Names, faces, conversations of people I knew in the WTC kept flowing through my mind. Where were they, were they ok, had anyone survived?

In the days to follow I stopped watching tv and started reading fiction. News came in that all but 2 Morgan Stanley employees had survived, thank God. But things would never be the same. It is a day that has forever changed my life and the way I live it.